<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Family Car Trips by coltinourstars</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25411000">Family Car Trips</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coltinourstars/pseuds/coltinourstars'>coltinourstars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Humor, M/M, car journey conversations</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:55:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25411000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coltinourstars/pseuds/coltinourstars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nile thinks she can cope with immortality if it means a few centuries of trolling Nicky and Joe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1398</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Family Car Trips</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been thinking about how, whilst Nicky and Joe definitely like making stories about their past to trick Nile, Nile is also very happy to pretend to know nothing about history if it means getting back at them. </p>
<p>This is mostly just a conversation between them in a car because I came up with about 3 jokes I wanted to write. Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They have been in the car for almost 4 hours and it has been about an hour since anyone last spoke. They were on their way to the safe house just over the Canadian border following one of Copley’s latest tipoffs. After a recap of the mission, most of the talking had been slight bickering over where to stop on the way for food. Joe claimed there was a great place in about 8 hours, Nicky stated that he may actually die from hunger before they got there and Andy pointed out the large amount of blood that they were all wearing would likely not make them welcome at any establishment. Apart from the gas station that they sent Andy, the least blood covered, into. </p>
<p>Nicky is driving, as Nile had been nursing a rapidly healing broken arm by the time they had run back to the car to make their escape, which also means Joe is riding shotgun. Nile would be slightly concern by the fact they seem to be holding hands over the centre console if the road was not completely straight and without a car in sight. Andy is next to Nile in the backseats, dozing with her head against the window now that Nile has put a couple of butterfly bandages over the cut on her cheek. </p>
<p>And Nile is bored. The adrenaline of a completed mission and a group of hostages freed has slowly warn off while she watched the empty expanse pass them by. </p>
<p>“Okay, so who is the most famous person you two have met?” Nile asks, leaning as far forward between Nicky and Joe as her seatbelt will allow (she still wears one partly out of habit and partly because getting thrown out of a car windscreen hurts like hell even if you can walk away from it). </p>
<p>“What sort of famous are we talking?” Joe had turned in his seat to look at her, seeming to be seriously considering her question, “Like “I once spotted Paul Rudd in a pharmacy” sort of thing or “Leonardo Da Vinci once hit on Nicky”?”</p>
<p>Nicky reaches out to smack Joe on the arm without taking his eyes off the road. </p>
<p>“Definitely the second one,” Nile grins.  </p>
<p>“You’d be surprised how many you miss” Nicky tells her. “Just because you were alive at the same time as Elizabeth I or George Washington doesn’t mean you were ever in a position to meet them or even on the same continent at the time.”</p>
<p>“And even if you did get to meet them, often they would be slightly disappointing. Shakespeare was tedious to be around after about the first 30 minutes. That man would try to talk continuously in iambic pentameter for the “practice”.” Joe rolls his eyes at Nicky as he speaks.  </p>
<p>“He was constantly sprouting poetry. Like a less attractive Joe.” Nicky grins as Joe pouts at him. </p>
<p>“Yeah and it’s not like he wrote all those plays” Nile replies. Nile can practically hear the cartoon noise of squealing breaks even though the car’s speed has not changed as Joe and Nicky appear to be stunned into silence. Nile manages to contain her grin enough to keep talking. “I mean anyway the only good one supposedly by him was the one they turned into that gnome movie.” </p>
<p>“Nile, I have lived many, many years without having to know about a gnome movie based on a Shakespeare play. Please do not change that now” Nicky says, slightly pleadingly. </p>
<p>“It’s called Gnomeo and Juliet” Nile replies. Nicky groans as he bows to rests his head down on the steering wheel in despair. </p>
<p>“Look, you’ve broken him” Joe says, placing a hand on Nicky’s head comfortingly and mockingly shushes him. </p>
<p>Fortunately, Nicky recovered quickly, as always, to be able to keep driving the car. And with a few more hours ahead Nile decides to continue. “So did you two know Cleopatra?” </p>
<p>“Nile, you know when we’re from! Do you think that two people who were fighting in The Crusades were alive early enough meet Cleopatra?” Joe asks, a hint of exasperation creeping into his voice.  </p>
<p>“I don’t know, did you?” </p>
<p>Nicky sighs slightly. “No, no we did not. If you want to know about things from that long ago you are going to have to ask Andy. She possibly knew her.” Nile is fairly certain that Joe coughed the word “intimately” following Nicky’s comment. </p>
<p>“I would but she’s asleep” Nile lies; Andy is still lying with her head back but her eyes are now wide open and her smile has been growing during the whole conversation. Nile winks at her. “What about Mark Antony?” </p>
<p>“Why would that be diff…?” Joe stops himself. “Yeah sure. Why not? Mark Antony. Great friend. Very hot.” Nicky gives him a quizzical look to which Joe just half-heartedly shrugs. </p>
<p>With her momentum growing, Nile moves to a quickfire approach, speaking more quickly. “Do you guys know who shot JFK?”</p>
<p>“No”</p>
<p>“Did you go to Woodstock?”</p>
<p>“No”</p>
<p>“Was one of you D.B. Cooper?”</p>
<p>“No”</p>
<p>“Did they freeze Walt Disney’s head?”</p>
<p>“I have no idea.”</p>
<p>“Do you know who Jack the Ripper was?”</p>
<p>“No” Nicky this time, sounding slightly offended. </p>
<p>“Did you help fake the moon landings?”</p>
<p>For some reason that is the one that seems to break Andy, who cannot stop herself from laughing loudly. </p>
<p>“Come on guys, you’ve got to tell her. Did you help fake the moon landings?” Andy laughs as Nicky catches her eye in the rear-view mirror to lovingly glare at her. </p>
<p>Joe sighs loudly and proclaims “I will throw myself out of this moving car if anyone speaks for the next 100 miles.”</p>
<p><i> Exactly 101 miles later. </i> </p>
<p>“So are you guys part of the Illuminati?”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>